Swanville 3 Stars Hotels

"Most everything was great"

"The photos? Sure, they look decent — but they’re taken at just the right angles and just the right lighting to hide the reality. The place is dated, dark, and dingy. What you see online is NOT what you get in person. Upon arrival, we were never sent check-in instructions. We had to call and wait on hold for 20 minutes just to figure out how to get in — standing in the heat with our bags like lost tourists. Inside? A sauna. No air conditioning, no fans, no airflow whatsoever. It was like trying to sleep in a giant toaster. And no, opening a window didn’t help — because the air doesn’t move, and the screens were questionably clean. The “fully stocked kitchen” boasted half a roll of paper towels and a nearly-empty bottle of dish soap. The dishes smelled like moldy Tupperware from 1993, and clearly hadn’t been cleaned before being shoved back into the cabinets. We tried to salvage the experience with a little outdoor grilling… until we realized the grill wouldn’t heat above lukewarm, and the firewood left for us was soaking wet. Perfect for starting a fire next week. We left after one miserable night and found alternate accommodations. If you’re looking for a peaceful, relaxing retreat — keep looking. If you’re into sweating, holding for customer service, and eating off mildew-scented plates, then this is your dream vacation."